


Dream of Love

by rosymamacita



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff, Soulmates, Total Fluff, destination wedding, just falling in love, long lost loves, marper wedding, not apologizing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-08-28 21:28:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16730964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosymamacita/pseuds/rosymamacita
Summary: Bellamy is charged to keep Harper's favorite cousin company during Harper and Monty's wedding, only this favorite cousin turns out to be his first love from High School, who left for the other side of the country and he'd never heard from again.Turns out, Bellamy never really got over her. And seeing her for the first time in ten years? He knows he's not over her now.





	1. Non-Murdery Destination Wedding

**Author's Note:**

> So, it's nanowrimo and I am stuck on my novel, and while I'm letting it percolate in my brain, I needed to keep writing to keep up my wordcount (I am a rulebreaker) so I started this little wedding fic. I figured I'd post the first chapter so I have incentive to keep writing it. I'm already working on chapter two. It is going a lot faster than my novel, tbh.

“You think you can handle that?” 

Bellamy took a big swallow of beer and eyed Monty. “You really think I’m going to have trouble picking up five people from the airport?”

“Seven. And I know you’ve had a tough year at school, what with all the upheavals in the district, and the protests and all.”

“Yeah, well, we brought it all to the end and no one lost their lives, so I consider it a win for Bellamy Blake, high school counselor and history teacher.”

“And then the mess with your sister.”

He took a bigger swallow of beer. “Yeah well. No one lost their lives there, either. So that’s better than the past has shown. BESIDES, this is your wedding! To HARPER! Who I LOVE! And we’re here on the beautiful Ark Ring Island, where everything is perfect and no one is making you eat meat because meat is murder.”

“That is not the description of the resort. It’s vegetarian. Okay. Harper and I think it’s important and we wanted to make our special day special to us. That’s why we’ve kept it so small. And that’s why we invited only the people we were closest to.”

“Oh yes. And my cousin.” Harper added. She was drinking something in a fancy glass with some fruit garnish and a tiny little lantern dangling off of the side. It was fascinating and lit her pretty face with a pink glow. Or maybe the drink is what had her glowing. Or maybe it was Monty.

“Oh right. And your cousin.” Monty smiled at her, like he couldn’t believe he was getting her for the rest of his life. They way they looked at each other made warm feelings happen in Bellamy’s chest until the words caught up with him.

“Your cousin?” Bellamy put his bottle down with a louder thunk than he meant to. “No. I know the guest list.” He counted off on his fingers. “Murphy, Emori—“

“They’ve broken up again so we need to play interference. 

Bellamy rolled his eyes because of course they had. Again. “Raven and her new beau. Hey, why did she get a plus one?”

“You could have had a plus one. Was there someone you wanted to bring with you or are you still hung up on—“

“No I am not hung up on Echo. We are not together anymore. And I do not want to be with her. I might have wanted to marry her once upon a time, but it didn’t…It wasn’t right and we agreed on that.”

“Did SHE agree on that?” Harper asked, the lighted drink casting her eyes in shadow.

“Well she told me she agreed. I’m not interested in her like that. Okay? She’s still one of my best friends but…” he shrugged. “Something was missing. And if I’m gonna spend the rest of my life with anyone, I need it to be a relationship like you two have. You’re just right. You fit together.”

“We do, don’t we?” Monty put his arm around his fiancée and kissed her temple. The light of her drink softened their features. Made it so their glances, catching each other, was liquid, and warm. 

Bellamy looked away with a pang of something, not jealousy, he was happy for his friends. Longing. He saw them and he knew he wanted something like that. He’d never had it with Echo. She was hot and they got along well, but after the sex, sometimes he just wondered if they really had all that much to talk about. And he wanted more than just hot sex and getting along. Everyone told him his standards were too high. But he’d rather have high standards than just…. Settle for something that wasn’t quite right. No matter how his friends tried to convince him otherwise.

“Hey. Are you trying to set me and Echo up again? You should know that it’s not happening anymore. And it’s not something we’re looking to rekindle, okay?”

“Well that’s good, because Echo is bringing a plus one, too. Roan. And he paid for her ticket.”

“She is? That’s great. I’m surprised I hadn’t heard. Good for her. So wait. Does that mean I’m the only one who’s going to be solo here?”

“Well there’s my cousin.”

“Right. The mysterious cousin.”

“Yeah. She recently moved back to town and I know I haven’t seen her in years and years, but we bonded again and she’s had a really hard time of it. I wanted her to come out. It was kind of last minute, but we made room. Her mom is watching her kid and I practically forced her to come.”

“Wow. So she can’t wait to get here. And you’ve got me paired up with her all weekend, don’t you. Wait. Are you trying to set me up with your COUSIN? That’s what the prying was about Echo? Everyone else gets a plus one but me?”

“Emori and Murphy are coming alone.”

“Emori and Murphy? They’ll be making out by cocktails and you know it. Come on, you guys. I thought this was a low stress destination wedding at your isolated non-murdery—“ he caught Monty’s glare and changed his word, “vegetarian resort. Now I find out you’re playing matchmaker?”

“I told you Harper. You’ve got to let him come to it on his own. This man does NOT like being worked.”

She huffed. “I am not working anyone. She had a bad break up and has been alone a long time and her adoption of her kid just came through and I finally convinced her to come home because she always loved it in Arcadia. She was psyched that you’d be here. Monty told me you actually liked her when she went to school with us.”

“Wait. I know her?”

“Yeah. My cousin. She lived with us for a year after her dad died.”

He shook his head. He still had no idea.

“Clarke Griffin. My cousin.”

Clarke Griffin. The blonde princess who had been the center of his senior year of High School. She’d been a junior and they had been bitter rivals in just about every class and club they were a part of, and they always seemed to be drawn together, until they wrote and starred in a one act play for their drama class, and from then on, they were actually inseparable. He was sure he was in love with her. And he’d kissed her, that last night, before her mother called her home to the other side of the country, but he hadn’t told her how he felt. He never believed that would be the last time he talked to her. He never thought that was it for them.

But it had been. He’d never heard a word from her again. It was like she had fallen off the face of the earth. Or he had. And it had always been the thing, that thing he wondered about. That “could have been.” But it never was.

“Clarke Griffin is your cousin.”

She nodded. 

“I… didn’t know.”

“Well, you didn’t pay much attention to me then. I was just a kid on the soccer team who kicked your friends asses. I didn’t really rate investigation into my family ties, you were too busy being king of the campus. But I see you remember her. You think you’d mind keeping an eye on her? Keeping her entertained.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Monty said. Harper glared at him. 

“I may not even like her anymore.” He said, fumbling for his beer bottle again and taking a swallow. Why was his hand shaking? “She might be a dick now.”

“My cousin is not a dick! How dare, Bellamy Blake. If you are rude to her because you don’t trust my motives we’re going to have a problem.”

“Of course we’re not.” Bellamy tipped his bottle up and emptied it. He really felt the need for something stronger now. “It’s your wedding. If you want to give me the job of fetching people from the airport and keeping Clarke Griffin company, then that’s my job for the wedding. Hey. Everyone else is going to be paired up anyway, so at least I won’t be third-wheeling anyone. As long as she doesn’t think I’ve become a dick.”

“Impossible, you could never become a dick,” Harper said. “You’ve always been a dick.”

“Ha ha, very funny. Listen, I’m gonna turn in now, since I have to be up at dawn to go meet the plane. You picked an awfully remote island on which to get hitched, with a completely inconvenient airport.”

“Of course we did. That’s how we kept everyone else away and limited it to only the people we love.”

“And your cousin.”

“And my cousin.”

Bellamy left them then. Harper was busy finishing off her fancy drink and Monty was dispatched to get her another. He slipped out of the little bar area but Monty caught him before he could make it back to his cabana.

“Hey,” he said, putting a hand on Bellamy’s shoulder. “Are you okay with this?”

Bellamy let out his breath that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. He should have known that the name Clarke Griffin had hit him pretty hard.

He shrugged. “Yeah, it’s no problem. I can drive a minivan. I can drive anything.”

Monty looked at him like he was disappointed. “I mean Clarke. Are you okay with her being here? I didn’t even make the connection when Harper was talking about inviting her cousin. I kind of forgot that Clarke Griffin was the same person as her favorite long distance cousin.”

“Yeah. Why would it be a problem?” 

“I mean, you kind of had a thing with her back in high school.”

“It was high school. That’s ten years ago. And I don’t think what we had actually qualified as ‘a thing.’ We were friends. We liked each other. That’s all.”

Monty was quiet a while as he stared at Bellamy. Too long actually.

“What. Spit it out.”

“So you don’t remember that after Gina left you, you got drunk and blamed yourself, because you could never love Gina that way. That you thought Clarke Griffin was the love of your life. And you’d lost her forever so you were doomed to be alone forever.”

Bellamy ground his jaw. “I was drunk.” 

“And I thought you were over it. But then you broke up with Echo. And we all thought she was it for you. And she told Harper that you had an ideal for love that she could never reach and it just wasn’t worth it for her anymore. She could never be as perfect as some sort of fantasy.”

Bellamy didn’t respond this time. He just shook his head. But that didn’t put Monty off. Nothing ever put Monty off. 

“Is Clarke Griffin that fantasy ideal love?”

“Come on, Monty. Be serious. Do you think I’m some sort of love sick kid? I can’t get over some girl who moved away when I was a teenager and I never heard from again?”

Monty cocked his head and just looked at him. “I don’t know. Are you?”

He sorted. “No. That’s not what’s happening here. Just a girl from the past. I can keep an eye on her just fine. We got along. We were friends. It’ll be nice. It’ll be great. Tell Harper not to worry. Or was that you being the worrywart?”

“All me. She’s excited for everyone to get here and glad to have Clarke around. I don’t think she thought you’d have a problem with Clarke. She’s hoping you’ll get along.”

“So she is matchmaking.”

Monty nodded and stuck his hands in his pocket.

“It’s okay Monty. I’m a big boy. I can handle one small woman. And if I can’t, I’ll have Raven run interference. She was great friends with Clarke before she took off. Okay? So don’t you worry about anything. Just enjoy your wedding.”

Monty sighed and seemed to want to press further but Bellamy shooed him back to his fiancee, and what other frightening alcoholic concoctions she might be getting ready to drink.

He strolled the boarded pathways through the beach, off under the trees. The music and lights from the bar faded away as the path twisted and he found himself back at his cabana. The little room was calm and soothing. Simple with wide windows and a sleepy fan circulating the tropical air. He could hear the waves crashing on the beach and only an occasional back beat or whoop from the bar. 

He closed the door, slipped out of his shoes and threw himself on the bed.

Clarke Griffin.

He groaned and rolled over, covering his eyes with his arm.

She was the girl he had definitely never been able to get over. The fantasy that no other woman had ever been able to live up to.

But there was no way that she was the “love of his life.” That was just a fairy tale. There was no such thing. He was a grown up, adult man who did not believe in nonsense like that. Relationships were hard, that was all, and the first girl he’d fallen for had grown in his mind to be more beautiful, smarter, deeper, and more enthralling than she could possibly be.

This would be good. He could get to know her and then he’d realize she was just another girl. Just like anyone else and not nearly as perfect as she seemed in his memories. And then he could let her go. Move on. Maybe find a real relationship and stop hoping for some impossible dream of love.


	2. Well, Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy meets his friends at the airport, and there SHE is. Clarke Griffin. The girl he fell in love with in high school. 
> 
> She is still Clarke.
> 
> But she's no longer the girl he fell in love with. Now she's a woman. And there's a very real possibility that he is still in love with her.

Bellamy got up way too early, got dressed, grabbed some coffee from the hotel, and jumped into their rented minivan to drive to the other side of the island where the tiny airport was. He had not been terribly thrilled to ride in such a small airplane on the way over, but it was not so bad to stand out there, on the tarmac, watching the little plane come in over the water and taxi up. The air was warm and the sun was bright.

He found himself nervous. Of course it wasn’t about Murphy or Emori or Raven or even Echo or any of their dates. He saw them all the time. Raven worked with him and Murphy and Emori worked at their favorite pub and Echo was around all the time because they were family. But Clarke. Clarke was a new element to their family, and his heart beat faster waiting to see her.

Of course Murphy and Emori were the first off the plane, snapping at each other, even though Murphy had his hand on Emori’s lower back as she descended the plane and Emori barely even took in her surroundings, so oriented on him was she. 

Next off was Raven. She was with Shaw, of course, he’d known that would be her plus one. They’d been seeing each other for a few months now, although Raven always tried to pretend she wasn’t “with” him. They were dressed in nearly identical outfits, though, and Bellamy had to laugh. They looked like they were ready for a mission, a hike through the jungle, and possibly war, in hiking boots and cargo shorts. 

When Echo came down, he felt he should feel a pang of something. She was lovely. Romantic even, in a flowing sundress. Roan came down after her dressed in linen pants and shirt. Again, he should have known. Echo hadn’t brought him around, but he knew she was seeing him. And he was happy she had someone she liked.

Then there was a pause and no one came out of the plane door at the top of the steps.

Bellamy was afraid that Clarke had decided not to come at all but then, there she was. Her hair bright blonde and blowing in the wind. She shoved mirrored aviators onto her face and settled her duffel on her shoulder, standing at the top of the stairs for a minute, checking things out. She wore flip flops, jeans with holes in the knees and a band t-shirt that he couldn’t quite make out from where he was. Bellamy could hardly breathe. 

Then she caught sight of him, and a smile spread on her face. She raised her free hand to wave at him. Bellamy could do nothing else but smile back and wave and watch as she came towards him.

The rest of them got to him before she did and he was enveloped in hugs and greetings and a brief moment where Murphy jumped on his back in attack because the real truth was that Murphy was the actual dick in the group and everyone knew it. By the time he got disentangled from Murphy, there was Clarke, standing right in front of him and smiling. God. She was smiling. Well, hell. He was fucked. 

“You remember Clarke, right Bellamy?” Raven said.

He nodded. He couldn’t stop smiling, but he couldn’t quite find words, either.

“Good to see you again, Bellamy,” she said, and her voice was husky and low and the world might have shifted on its axis.

“Good to see you, too, Clarke,” he said and then, he wasn’t really sure how it happened, if she stepped into him or he into her, but she was in his arms and they were hugging and she smelled fresh and clean. He couldn’t tell if she was wearing perfume at all, but the smell of her was like a memory and it pulled at him. The solidity of her felt real, something new, something tangible opened up inside of him in answer.

He realized that he probably shouldn’t have his nose tucked into the crook of her neck and maybe he was holding on too tight, so he pulled back, just the slightest bit, but she was holding on too tight to him, too, Before he could process that bit of information she had let go. Stepped back. 

She picked up the bag she’d dropped on the tarmac. She’d dropped her bag to hug him. He blinked at her, but she wasn’t looking at him. Busying herself with her bag. He couldn’t tell, he didn’t know her well enough, but he thought maybe she was flushed behind her sunglasses and he didn’t remember that breathless pink from before they’d hugged.

Then Raven took charge, questioning him about where he’d left the car, how long it would take to get to the resort, what Harper and Monty’s plans were for the day. Hustling them all to the baggage claim, where she assured everyone, she had packed enough meat products to get them through this vegetarian hellscape.

He teased her about the hellscape of the tropical paradise, but Murphy blessed her and said he owed her his first born child.

All the while, Bellamy could not stop sneaking peeks at Clarke Griffin, who was definitely still his dream girl as he walked them to where the minivan was parked. He loaded all the luggage in the back and the group of them piled inside. Ready to go. 

He was glad it was all taking care of itself because his head was still spinning with the sight and smell and FEEL of Clarke Griffin. He took longer than he needed to just so that he could catch his breath by the time he got into the drivers seat… but there was Clarke, riding shotgun, her aviators pushed back up on top of her head so he could see the streak of pink in her hair, and her blue, blue eyes, and the beauty mark on her lips, and her wide smile.

“Ready to go, Captain Blake,” she said, and saluted him, her eyes laughing.

“Are they?” He pointed his thumb at the rest of them, laughing and singing a round of some sort of song he couldn’t catch. 

She laughed, deep and throaty and Bellamy had to take a deep breath. “They are DEFINITELY ready to go.”

Murphy was passing around tiny bottles of booze. He leaned forward to hand some to Clarke and Bellamy.

“None for me, Murphy.” He started the car. “I’m driving.”

“Me either,” Clarke said. “I’m copilot. Save it for later.”

Murphy shrugged. “Your loss.”

He joined in with the singing already in progress and they were all laughing uproariously while Bellamy carefully negotiated the van onto the narrow road that would lead to the other side of the island. He really didn’t know what to say to Clarke and once the awkward, ‘how was your flight’s and ‘gorgeous place’s were out of the way, they fell silent, listening to the group come up with the most embarrassing Monty and Harper stories they could dredge up from their long friendship in preparation for roasting them.

Raven was just wrapping up the story where she walked in on them after they had done it for the first time and then Emori was starting in on when SHE walked in on them getting it on at their old job, when Clarke spoke up, just for him. The rest of them kept chattering on.

“Uhm. So I think I have an unfair advantage over you.”

Bellamy startled, because he was just getting used to her presence next to him. He glanced over. She was biting her lip and it was gorgeous.

“Unfair advantage?” He raised his eyebrows at her. 

“Yeah. I’ve been grilling Harper about you since before I even came back to the East Coast. I mean, I knew I was coming, and she was telling me all about you guys to try and convince me to settle nearby. And I kind of made her tell me all about you as the ‘eligible bachelor’ of the group.”

He very specifically did not look over at her. “Eligible bachelor?”

“Yeah. It’s been a while since I’ve been in a relationship, and she was trying to lure me with tales of all the romantic prospects.”

He really wanted to hear more about that romantic prospects bit, but he thought he would start to sound like a parrot if he just repeated everything she said. He turned onto the scenic road and took a deep breath. “So what did you find out.”

“Well…” she said and he took a chance to peek at her. She had one leg tucked underneath her and was turned in the seat to watch him, her head cocked. “I know you’re a history teacher.”

“And guidance counselor.”

“And guidance counselor.” The smile was in her voice. “And you love it. And you have the rest of the summer off. I know you live alone, but within five blocks of all your friends. I know you’re single, and you haven’t been in a relationship for almost a year.”

“Hmm.”

“And your last relationship was with Echo.” She nodded to the back, where Echo was trying to balance her empty tiny alcohol bottle on her forehead. Rather successfully, seeing as they were in a moving vehicle. “Which ended on good terms.”

“True.”

“I know you had a relationship with Raven, too.”

“That was years ago. And it hardly counted as a relationship. It was just a thing. And we’re better as friends.”

“So no leftover feelings on that one?”

He shook his head. “No. Not that one.”

She paused then. He could feel her pausing. 

“ I know you’re one of Harper’s favorite people. And I didn’t tell her this part. So maybe it wasn’t really fair of me. But from everything I remember back when I lived with her, you were one of my favorite people, too, and I kind of was wondering if you were still one of my favorite people.”

Bellamy laughed. This was the Clarke he remembered. “You’re still a take-no-prisoners kind of girl aren’t you.”

“No,” she said, and he’d feel nervous, but she was smiling. “I’m a take-no-prisoners kind of woman, now.”

“Yeah. I can see that.” He navigated around a tricky corner. They were almost there. “I had no idea you were in town,” he said, trying to get his thoughts together. “I kind of wish I had.”

“We just got in. Just got our moving truck, got Madi registered for school. It took us a while to get settled. And my mom is still in town for a while.”

He nodded. “Yeah, Harper said. She said you just finalized your adoption?”

“Yup. I’m a mom. Madi’s twelve, she’ll be going to Arcadia Middle School.”

He couldn’t stop nodding. “That must have been quite an adventure. You must have had a lot of adventures. I kind of wish I could have heard about them before this.”

She fell silent, then. When he glanced at her, she was staring at her hands in her lap. 

“I missed you, you know,” he said, his heart beating. But what did he have to lose by telling her? “I’m sorry we lost touch.”

“Me, too, Bellamy. Losing you was one of my biggest regrets in life.”

He didn’t answer her, pulling the car to a stop. Turning off the engine, he unfastened his seatbelt and then reached across to take her hand. “I’m not lost, Clarke. I’m right here.” 

She tightened her fingers on his as the rest of his friends hooted and hollered. “We’re here!” They piled out of the van and started calling for Monty and Harper, while Clarke just smiled at Bellamy.

Bellamy smiled back.


	3. Silly Love Bird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's just the girls. Drinking their drinks and gossiping. Harper seems to be a bit obsessed with love, but it's her wedding, so she's allowed. And then she turns her attention to Clarke. And Bellamy. And then all the girls do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> girl bonding. we never get girl bonding. there are fancy drinks, pedicures, aioli, and discussions of old sweethearts.

Clarke closed the door to her cabana and fell onto her bed. She put a hand to her chest to try to hold on to her racing heart. “Calm down,” she muttered to herself.

Things like this didn’t happen. This couldn’t possibly be real. The boy she’d fallen for in high school when she was young and naive couldn’t POSSIBLY be this gorgeous and hot and as nice as he seemed.

No. That was not the way life worked. Certainly not the way HER life worked. Not since she was a kid. Not since she’d left Arcadia. 

Her mother had called her home to California and she’d struggled to get her feet back under her. She just barely managed to keep her grades high enough and scores impressive enough to get into a decent college. And she struggled with her course work, not that anyone could tell. She always did just enough to get the grades. Until…until…until the thing with her girlfriend went south. Until premed was too much. Until her mom got remarried. Until her apartment got condemned for mudslide damage. Until she couldn’t hold on to it all anymore and she just collapsed.

She spent a year, maybe, never leaving the house. She lost contact with everyone back in Arcadia, even her cousin. Definitely Bellamy, because she couldn’t face what a mess she was. But slowly. Slowly, she got her feet back under her.

Nine years after her life fell apart, here she was. A licensed art therapist, with a newly adopted daughter, back in the town where she had been happiest. She had been willing to start all over again. And she hadn’t even had the chance to catch her breath before Harper had made her come to her wedding to reacquaint herself with her old friends. And THEN she’d enlisted her mom, who had paid for flight and hotel, because she wanted Clarke to be better. To be happy. So Clarke had to come.

But with Harper’s pointed hints and matchmaking she had tried not to get herself excited, because that was not how her life worked out, “Did you know Bellamy is single still?” Harper had told her as soon as she had gotten the truck unloaded at her new apartment. “You used to be such good friends. He’s a teacher and one of my best friends and he’ll be at my wedding solo. So you have to come so he doesn’t feel like a loser, because his ex girlfriend is bringing a date and the party is too small for him to hide out in.”

“Are you trying to set me up with Bellamy Blake?” she’d asked, to embarrass her.

“Yes. Yes I am.” Harper was not embarrassed. “I want you to hook up with Bellamy.”

“Harper! Who do you think I am?”

“I think you’re a woman who needs to have a good time. And Bellamy is a great guy. And you like each other.”

“We haven’t seen each other in ten years. I’m sure that’s not going to happen. I’ll make you a deal, though. I’ll come and I’ll hang out with him, but I make no promises.”

Because. Of course. 

And then he was there. Right off the plane squinting up at her. The wind ruffling his black hair. The sun glinting off of his skin with a bronze sheen. And that wide bright smile, and Clarke had lost her breath. 

She’d stood at the top of the stairs and the want had washed over her. She wanted him. She wanted everything about him. She wanted those amazing arms around her. She wanted his lips on hers. She wanted him to keep smiling at her. She wanted to tell him all about the ten years he hadn’t been there and she wanted him to tell her it would be okay because now he was here.

And because this was an island in the middle of nowhere and the air smelled like flowers and caressed her skin. Because this boy from her past was standing there staring at her and she wanted to get to do her life all over again. Because this was not real life. Because it was a dream. And if not a dream, then dream like. Because of all of that she came up to him and she threw herself into his arms.

She was home.

****

This was the strangest wedding she’d ever been to. 

There was absolutely no fuss. It was almost like it wasn’t a wedding at all. There were no designated colors, or seating charts or rehearsals or favors. Harper had a wedding dress, but it was something she’d gotten off the rack, just a simple white slip dress and she had some silver sandals that she said made her feel like a sea goddess, and a necklace made of semi precious stones. But otherwise, Clarke wasn’t actually sure she’d ever been to an event this easy going and…well… relaxing as this.

Harper was completely the opposite of a bridezilla and she just didn’t care about any of it. She didn’t even care about getting married. It was a vacation with her favorite people as far as she was concerned. She was doing it for Monty, who wanted to make them legal and official and all of that. She just shrugged and threw her feet over the edge of the lounge chair on the patio, so Echo could paint her toenails green.

“Green,” she said. “Get it? Green.” Then she laughed hysterically and drank another of those fruity cocktails she’d been sipping on since Clarke had gotten there. 

“Yes, baby,” Echo said, rolling her eyes and smirking slightly. “We know you love The Green.”

She sighed. “I do. I’d do anything for him.”

“Even get married to him when you think marriage is an outdated and parochial institution that is inherently misogynistic and materialist in nature?” Raven handed her an egg roll to soak up some of the alcohol. 

“Even get married because marriage is a out-dait-ed and… what was the rest of that?”

They all started laughing. 

Clarke leaned over and took the fancy drink out of Harper’s hand. “We’d better get you to slow down so you can last all day. We still have the barbecue later tonight, and you do not want to be passed out for that.”

Harper pouted but let her take it. “Hey,” she said, with a hand on Clarke’s arm. “Hey. Love is beautiful, Clarke.”

Clarke smiled fondly at her. She had missed her. “I know. I’m really happy for you and Monty.”

“No,” Harper shook her head and blinked slowly before letting go and leaning back in the lounge chair. Echo grabbed her foot and resumed painting her toes. Emori gave her a bottle of water. “No. I mean Looo-oove.”

“I know, Harper. I can’t wait to see your wedding. I’m really so glad you’ve found love.”

“No, ugh,” she said and took a swig of water. “Tell her Emori. Tell her about how much you love Murphy.”

“Ha ha, Harper. I think you picked the wrong person to extoll the praises of love,” Raven teased. “She wants to kill Murphy all the time.”

Emori sat straight. “No I don’t. I love him. I wish I didn’t love him so much, sometimes. It’s hard because he’s been through a lot and I am stubborn and…”

“And loving him makes it BETter, right Emori?”

Emori sighed and then slumped back and drank her fancy drink. “I wish it didn’t but it does. Sometimes I just want to BE with him because it makes me feel better, even when I’m angry at him.”

Harper waved her hands in the air. “See? I was right. Raven. Tell Clarke how beautiful love is. Tell her how much you love Shaw and he makes your life bet—ter. TELL HER.”

“Uh….” Raven blushed dark. “We’re not there yet, Harper.”

“Liar. You LOVE him. I know you do. I can see it.”

Raven shrugged and looked away. Clarke gave her Harper’s drink. She needed it more. Raven looked at her thankfully and took a big sip. “Oh wow, this is SO good Harper.”

Harper made a sound like she was gagging. “Raven is pretending she’s not in love with her boyfriend. ECHO. ECHO, baby doll, tell Clarke about how awesome it is to love that big hunk of beefcake you’ve got. Woo! Did you see his abs? Hubba hubba.”

Echo merely laughed. “Oh no, you silly love bird. You’re not going to get me. I am not in love with Roan. And I am not going to be in love with Roan. But I like him a whole helluva a lot and he is GREAT in bed. I’m having fun with a good friend and we enjoy our mutual hotness, abs included.” Echo raised her halter top to point out her own.

“Oooh!” Harper reached out a hand to touch. “Nice! Look at mine.” Harper also raised her top to show a truly enviable set of abs. “Everyone show your abs.”

Raven was still sucking on her drink, her face glowing from the love discussion so she was eager to also raise her shirt and show some amazing abs. Emori pulled up a corner of her shirt to show quite the flat tummy too.

Clarke laughed. “Yeah. Okay. I don’t have abs. I can’t compare to you all.”

“I don’t believe you! Let me see. I’m the bride. You have to show me. Bridezilla. Grr. SHOW ME THE ABS.” 

Clarke sighed heavily. “Fine. But if you people think I’m going to join your ‘awesome abs workout club’ just because I’m moving to town, you have another thing coming. I think I’ll stay how I am, pleasantly rounded.” She raised her top and caught the waitresses attention. “One of those fruity things please? With the lantern.”

Emori added to Clarke’s order, “And some appetizers. Uhm. Sweet potato fries? And the garlic bread. Our girl here needs some food with her booze.”

But while they were busy ordering, Harper was busy flopping over in her lounge chair again. “Oooh. Pretty. Oh my god.” Harper ran her hands over Clarke’s less than defined stomach. “She’s so soft!” She turned to look at Echo who was struggling to get the enamel on Harper’s toes. “Oh my god. She’s so sexy, with all those curves. Wow. That’s something to grab onto.” Harper clenched her fingers on Clarkes hips. 

“Hot mama,” Emori wiggled her eyebrows at Clarke.

“Not to mention that fantastic rack,” Raven said, quite glad to get the attention on someone else. “Clarke has us all beat in the boob department. I don’t think there’s a man and not a few of the women on this island that wasn’t eyeing her cleavage when she came out in that top.”

“Okay. I’m feeling objectified, here,” Clark pulled her shirt back into place and yeah, it definitely showed off her boobs and yeah, she might have worn it on purpose, thinking momentarily of Bellamy, who had gone off with the boys to do something or other, to her mild disappointment.

“Oh would you sit still!” Echo snapped, grabbing Harper’s ankle. “Hey! Harper. Harper!” She snapped her fingers until Harper swerved back around. “Hey, you know what? Clarke thinks she can’t compare to the rest of the girls, but I have it on good authority that she’s the one that is the first choice for some people.”

“RealLLLly?” Harper singsonged, leaning her elbow on the chaise arm. “Do tell us more.”

“Well,” Echo said, her fingers tight on Harper’s ankle, words slow and hands fast with the brush. “You know how Bellamy and I dated for a year?”

Clarke froze. 

“Yes! You were in love too. Tell Clarke how beautiful love is. Bellamy is just the best boyfriend, right? I mean, except for my Monty, but Bellamy is Bellamy, you know?”

“Hmmm,” Echo said, finishing the one foot and grabbing the other. “Well, Bellamy is an amazing boyfriend, but I was in love with him, and he loved me, but he wasn’t IN love with me. He couldn’t be.”

“He couldn’t?” Harper asked, eyes blinking. “Why not?” Clarke blessed her cousin for being drunk and asking prying questions. 

“Because he fell in love with someone a long time ago who no one else could ever compare to.”

“He did? Who?”

Echo painted her last toe and then reached for the first foot. Coat number two. “Well who do you think, silly love bird?” Without even looking up, Echo nodded her head toward Clarke. “Her.”

Harper gasped and tried to turn towards Clarke but Echo’s hold was firm. The girl was strong. Harper settled for reaching out with one hand and grabbing her thigh. “Ooh. She’s so juicy. God. Has Bellamy ever grabbed this thigh? That might do it.”

“No!” Clarke said, but Harper was already turning back to Echo. 

“Tell us MORE!”

“If you sit still and let me finish both feet.” 

Harper nodded eagerly up at Echo. “What happened?”

“Well, I don’t know what happened back then with them, but it took me a while to figure it out. Months really, as I fell for him and he was so kind and sweet and did everything right, and still… there was always something holding him back. I even asked him if there was someone else who he was in love with, and he said no, there was no one else just me. I knew he wasn’t lying, and yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling that even when he said he loved me, there was still someone he loved best. And one night, he confessed that he had been in love once before, but she’d left a long long time ago and it was something that could never be. And that’s when I knew. He was still in love with the girl he had lost.”

“Was that what ended things between you two?” Emori asked, as if she’d always wanted to know.

Echo shook her head. “He was committed to me and I was in love with him, and he treated me so well and we had so much fun together, so I stuck it out, thinking he would fall for me, too.”

“He didn’t, did he?” Raven asked, her smile crooked.

“Nope. And I don’t know, stepping back that distance, knowing that he loved someone more, even someone who he’d never see again, it kind of made me fall a little bit OUT of love with him? Like, it wasn’t enough anymore. And then I started wondering if it was just his face and the way he cares for everyone and how smart and passionate… and how much I thought he SHOULD be the man I was in love with and maybe I just really LIKED him? And I really WANTED to be in love.” She sighed and shook her head. “I still love him. He’s the best guy in the world, but he’s not my guy and we don’t actually fit together right. He’s an idealist, and I’m… not. But I didn’t put two and two together until we met Bellamy at the airport and I saw the way he couldn’t stop looking at Clarke, except for when he was trying not to look at her. And how she ran into his arms to hug him and then she wouldn’t let him go.”

Harper gasped. “She did! Oh how romantic.”

Clarke remembered. She had wanted to never let him go.

“She totally did. And he didn’t want to let go, either. After months of trying to find signs of love in Bellamy, I finally found them. Right here. She’s the woman he’s been in love with for ten years. She’s the one he compares all the others to.” She dropped Harper’s ankle. “DONE! Now don’t run around and mess those up!”

“But wait!” Harper said. “Now you don’t have love…” her eyes started to brim with tears. “You don’t love Bellamy and you don’t love Roan…”

“It’s okay silly love bird,” she wrapped an arm around Harper and drew her in. “We’re in the same place and that place is a great place to be. I’m not going to fall in love again unless it’s right. I think with Bellamy I was just in love with the idea of love. It’s not like you and Monty. You two are a natural pair. Soulmates.”

“Soulmates.” Harper nodded, wiping the tears away and smiling again. “Just like Clarke and Bellamy.”

“W-wait,” Clarke stuttered, still reeling. “We’re not soulmates. I haven’t seen him in ten years.”

“When you’re soulmates it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been apart. You will always fall back together. Oooh! Garlic Bread!”

The waitress came and set the appetizers and Clarke’s drink down on the table. Clarke grabbed it and sucked down a good half of it. Everyone ate and checked out Harper’s toes and she thought that was the last of it, thank god, because she could not get her heart to calm down.

“So you’re in love with Bellamy.” Harper pointed a sweet potato fry at Clarke. The aioli dripped off and splatted on the table. Clarke took a napkin and wiped it up, avoiding her eyes.

“I haven’t seen him in ten years.”

“Mm. Yeah. You said that already. But he’s in love with you.” Raven was a lot less drunk than Harper. She was laser focused on Clarke. Shit. 

She folded the napkin and wiped the table again, shaking her head. “We were just friends. It was high school. I only knew him for a year before my mom called me home anyway.”

Emori grinned and stuck a sweet potato fry in her mouth. “You didn’t say you didn’t love him.”

Clarke gaped. Then she blinked. Then she sucked on her drink.

“I remember you in high school, Clarke.” Raven was shaking her head, not buying it. “You and Bellamy were friends, but you were never ‘just’ friends. The two of you were something else, always arguing but always the first person to defend the other. You were inseparable. Wait. Did something happen between you?”

Clarke felt the heat rise in her chest, up her neck and into her face. She took a drink.

“Oh my god, you’re blushing. Did something happen?”

Clarke swallowed. “We kissed. Once. When he came to say good bye to me, before I left for the airport. I cried the whole flight. My heart was broken.”

“You KISSED Bellamy? Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Harper asked, clutching her hand to her heart.

“Because it was just once, and I never talked to him again.”

“But WHY, Clarke. Why didn’t you talk to him?”

“Because it hurt too much? Because I was a wreck? Because I figured I was being… I don’t know. Silly.”

Echo shook her head sadly. “I don’t think you were alone in that.”

Clarke opened her mouth but was unable to speak.

“You were in love with him,” Harper said, wide eyed.

“And he was in love with you.” Emori held onto Harper’s hand.

Raven leaned forward and pointed a sharp finger at her. “And you both still are.”


	4. The Romance Of It All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which this Bellamy and Clarke actually TALK about things.

The moon hung heavy over the balmy ocean, as Bellamy and his friends sat on the beach, full and sated after the gourmet meal Murphy and Monty had cooked for everyone. They had teased them about how hard they worked and how delicious it was, vegetarian or not. Murphy pretended not to be pleased by the praise while Monty said he did it all for Harper, and she gazed up at him adoringly, looking lovely in a white sundress and her golden hair flowing down her shoulders, a single flower tucked behind her ear.

Now, Monty was playing a love song he wrote for her, the guitar notes floating over the sounds of the surf and it was just about the most romantic thing Bellamy had ever witnessed. His heart swelled for his friends.

He was happy that they had found love. 

The rest of them had paired off, as expected. Raven and Shaw, Echo and Roan, and even Emori and Murphy had been unable to continue their sniping in the face of such romance and the fact that they were deeply in love and couldn’t actually bear to be without each other.

Clarke, though, Clarke was not there at the bonfire and the thought struck him for one second that he’d lost her again, until he saw her, down by the water’s edge, off a little bit, her skirt blowing in the sea air and a shawl wrapped around her shoulders. The moon turned her hair to silver and his longing had him getting up and walking over to her before he had really thought much about it.

“Hey,” he said, because he had nothing else to say.

She turned to him and smiled at him. “Hey.” It was such a soft smile that he felt as if the ocean tides had washed him clean. “Beautiful night, isn’t it?”

“Not as beautiful as you,” he said.

She gasped a little and laughed softly, ducking her head. Her hair fell and covered her face.

“That was really cheesy, huh?” He reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear. She looked up at him and her eyes grew wide. He dropped his hand. “Sorry. I think the romance of it all has gotten to me.”

“Maybe it was Roan’s wine.” She grinned with a mischievous glint.

He breathed out in relief. “It is very good wine. It’s one thing we can count on him for. To pay for expensive shit no one else can afford.”

She nodded. “I maybe had too much. Thought I needed to take a break and get some air.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

She bit her lip in a way that was very distracting. “No. I don’t want you to leave.” She took his hand in hers. It was small and soft. “I want you to stay.” 

“I was told it was my job to keep you company, but I was wondering if maybe you didn’t want that. It kind of seems as if you’ve been keeping other people between us all evening. As if you were avoiding me.”

She sighed a little musical sigh that really had him wondering, but then she pulled him a step closer by his hand, holding it in front of her, covering it with her other hand. Her thumb stroked his wrist. “I was avoiding you.”

“Oh,” he said. A pang of something went through him. He didn’t really know how to respond to that. Her hand tightened on his.

“I think I panicked a bit.”

“Okay.” Bellamy took in a breath of the night air. It really did smell like flowers, and the tang of the ocean, and a little bit of bonfire. But it was warm and sultry. Her thumb on his skin really confused him.

“Bellamy…” she started and let it fade.

“Look,” he said. “We flirted, that’s all. You’re not committed to me. I’m not your date. Harper didn’t want you to be lonely. You don’t have to worry about hurting my feelings if you don’t want to hang out with me. I mean, I’d love to, but no pressure.”

“Oh,” she breathed, “no. Oh. That’s not what this is about.” She dropped his hand but stepped closer to him. He could feel the warmth of her body through his thin shirt. And smell her perfume. Roses. 

He licked his lips. “Then what is it about?”

She was watching his lips and dragged her eyes up to meet his. He raised his eyebrows.

“Oh. Well. The girls reminded me. Seeing you again reminded me.” She looked off over his shoulder at the moon.

This time he took a step closer. His hips brushed hers. She didn’t back away. “Of what?”

She looked back at him. “Of how heart broken I was when I left you ten years ago. Because I was in love with you.”

He could count his heart beats, they were so loud. She was more beautiful than he remembered and he wasn’t sure how that was possible. He’d thought for sure he’d built her up in his mind. He huffed a laugh out on a breath.

She’d been watching him. “Funny?” She asked, one eyebrow cocked, a sly smile on her face.

He still didn’t have words. He shook his head. “Me too. Heart broken. In love.”

The little smile on her face spread and became brilliant. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah, of course,” he couldn’t believe she didn’t know. He brushed her hair back again, letting his hand rest at the nape of her neck.

She breathed out in relief. “That’s why the panic. I might be still panicked. Because, I, uhm…”

“What?” He pressed. He wanted to kiss her. “You can tell me. You can always talk to me.”

The smile got wider. “I remember that about you. I could always talk to you. You were the only one I could, and I missed that when I left. A lot. I needed it.”

He kneaded the muscles in her neck. Despite the beautiful tropical night and wine, she was tense. “I’m here.”

She gasped. “Jesus Bellamy. This is crazy. I don’t know.”

“What is? You still haven’t said.”

“I was in love with you ten years ago, and with everything that happened in my life, I wasn’t pining or anything, I dated. I fell in love. And out. But here we are, and here you are, and there’s still something there.”

“Something there.” He let his thumb sweep over her cheek.

“Between us.” 

He felt his own face break into a smile. He nodded. “Yeah. I noticed that too.”

“You did?”

“I did. The first time I saw you and everything came right back.”

“Everything?”

He could just breathe, and nod, slightly unsteady. 

Her face turned up to him caught the moonlight and he was swept away. The way the guitar music floated towards them and away depending on the breeze and the back and forth of the gentle surf. The whole world was spinning. Around them. 

“Do you want to find out what this is?”

He let out his breath. Nodded.

“I mean, I’m just back to town. I have a kid now, and she’s such a cool kid…”

“I can’t wait to meet her.”

“Really?”

“Of course. You think I don’t want to get to know her? I would even if I wasn’t—even if this wasn’t a thing. I like you Clarke. I’m happy you’re home. I want—“ He stopped, his heart racing. He was kind of understanding her panic now. This was a lot. 

She wrapped her hands around his waist and leaned up into him. “Want what?”

“A lot. I want a lot. But mostly I want you in my life.”

“That I think we can do no matter what, right?”

“Definitely. When we get back home, I’ll show you around town. I’ll take your daughter….”

“Madi.”

“Madi,” he smiled. “Maybe we’ll take her ice skating.”

She grinned. “Are you wooing me by taking my daughter out?”

“I wasn’t planning on it, but if it will work, let’s do that.”

“So you want to woo me.”

He laughed. “Woo? Yeah. I think I do.” He ran his hands up her back softly. He leaned down and whispered in her ear, “Go out with me, Clarke.”

He felt the shiver that ran through her and he wanted that to happen again.

She put her head on his shoulder. “This is crazy, you know. We barely know each other.”

“That’s not true. We do know each other. But we lost each other. I’m still me. You seem like you’re still you, and the differences? I kind of want to find them out.”

“Yeah,” she whispered and her hot breath fanned over his neck. He clutched her to him.

“Fuck, Clarke.”

She slid her hand under his shirt. “We’re in this magical place,” she said and kissed the skin of his neck under his ear, “it’s like a dream.”

“You think we’ll get back to the real world and you won’t feel this way?”

She pulled back and looked at him, frowning. “No. Bellamy. No. If the way I felt were a fantasy I wouldn’t be scared of it. What’s scary is it’s real. And I know what the real world is like, and how complicated things get. And I have a kid and you have a job and your routine—“

“I’m actually off for the summer. No routine. Not for months.”

She rolled her eyes. “Well then I have a kid and you have your sarcastic attitude.”

He laughed and pulled her back in to a hug. “Jesus I’ve missed you. God. I like you. Holy fuck, yeah. It’s scary. You’re right. But I’m excited, and I just… I just want you around.”

“You may regret that.”

“You that bad?”

“Yes! I’m such a bitch. Ruthless. Far too serious. Way too introverted. Bordering on hermit.”

He laughed out loud.

“What is so funny about that?”

“Because that’s the Clarke I fell in love with.”

She blinked and breathed out. “Fuck Bellamy, don’t tell me that.”

“What can I tell you that isn’t so scary?”

She looked at him and in the shadows cast by the moonlight, her eyes were as dark as the night, fathomless. “Tell me you’ll make love to me.”

He had no more jokes. “You sure?”

“Yeah I’m really fucking sure. I want your arms around me.With no one else around. I want to kiss you.I want to be naked with you. I want to lay with you, and whisper into your ear, and sleep against your chest, and wake up with you. And I don’t know what will happen in the future, but I want that now.” Tears filled her eyes and he wiped them away.

“Okay.” There was nothing else in the world but her.

He kissed her, their second kiss ever, the first after ten years distance, and her lips tasted like honey, like moonlight, like wine.

She broke the kiss too soon. He tried to chase her lips, but she laughed and ducked away, sliding her hands down his arms to grasp his hands. “Come to my room,” she said.

He was ready to go then he remembered this was a party for their friends who were getting married. “I think we’ll be missed.”

She laughed again. “They won’t mind.” 

She led him by the hand down the beach, the sea and the night smiling on them.

“Get it girl!” Harper called from the bonfire, followed by a bunch of hoots and a lot of hollering.

“I told you,” she said, and couldn’t keep the happiness out of her voice.

He laughed and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her in to his side, and kissing her hair. She slid her arm around his waist and nuzzled into him. She felt so good. And this was only the beginning.


End file.
